I'm still in Oregon.

Hello friends/family, I am still in Bend, visiting my family. My children and grandchildren have been here this week. Everyone got to spend a little time with grandpa Tom. We had to spread out the visits to times when he was feeling strong enough to visit. He gets very short of breath with activity and talking. His cough is pretty bad and makes him tired too. The first cough medicine had Codeine in it and it made him vomit, so now we are trying a new medication. Chris (my sister) is picking up the medicine today while she is out doing errands. Fortunately, dad does not have pain. I hope it stays that way. I am trying to get business paperwork done for the end of the year. I am my mom's "bookkeeper", although I really don't know anything about bookkeeping. I have quickbooks 2008 and have been trying to figure out how do use it over the last year. I have printing paycheck stubs down pretty good, but can't figure out how to do the taxes, W-2's, W-3, etc. I have a friend that I consult with to figure these things out. She would probably help me more but she just recently broke her ankle, so is staying close to home. She can't drive or walk yet. (Hope you are getting better Vicki!). Since I live so far away from my mom and her business I am thinking that I need to get her hooked up with quickbooks payroll and let them do all this stuff for her. I can still try to record her expenses and income other than payroll and taxes. Although if they do that too I may just let them. She needs to have someone who knows what they are doing, and that is not me! I am homesick for my Panhandle home. I worry about my cat, worms and rabbits. I also need to go home to get some business records for my mom. Dad's best friend since they were about 12 years old, Jerry Mack, just had a massive stroke on Christmas morning. We are all upset about Jerry. He and his wife Darlene have been a part of the family since I can remember. He is still in ICU in Eugene, OR and they are taking it "one moment at a time". His outcome is unknown. His stroke was caused by a bleed to the brain. I wish I could get my mom over to Eugene for a day or two to visit with Darlene, and also to visit with my auntie Jo. My uncle also had a massive stroke recently, so my aunt and cousins are still adjusting to this change. I must admit that it makes me MAD that these things happen. Being a nurse doesn't make it any easier to accept. In fact sometimes I think it makes it worse because I have seen what patients and their families go through during these times. I know that I am going through the various stages of grief. I think I have already gone through denial, and am now on to anger. It is impossible to believe that I will not have my dad forever. I am too young (55!) to become fatherless. He has been the greatest dad. He has taught me to have humor. He has taught me that men can be trusted (of course, my x-husband kind of killed that trust). I expect fathers to be like my dad, and I am always surprised to find that they aren't all like him. My dad is 5'6" and I remember when I was a little girl I thought he was so tall and big. I got lost in a store once and was crying. A man (probably the manager) asked me if my dad was a big man. I said "yes". Then when my dad came to get me the manager started to laugh, and I noticed that my dad was a lot shorter than that man. I was about 3 yrs old at the time. It was the first time that I had ever taken notice of details about people. I am going to post a picture of my family when I was a little girl. Guess which one is me! Love you all, Cathy

I made it to Oregon to see my dad! Yahoo!!

Hello friends and family, I am now in Oregon. My sister Chris and my neice McKenzie drove all the way to Montana to pick me up. They arrived one evening and we left the next morning. She used grandma and grandpa's car to drive up. This turned out good since my car needs a new headlight, and licensed. Some of my kids (maybe all) will be coming sometime between Christmas and New Year to see their grandpa (my dad). He is doing ok, but he is seriously sick. I went with them to the oncologist appointment yesterday. He showed me the CT scans and his lungs are full of multiple cancer sites. It looks like a clear night full of stars only twice as many stars as are in the Bend sky. He also has what looks like cancer in his common bile duct and around his major artery and vein that pass through the abdomin and go to his heart. Dad does not know this but I have told everyone else. Dad doesn't need to be afraid or worried. He is very accepting that he is going to die but I don't think that it will be as far off as he does. Our hospice nurse friend, and I and Chris think it will be only 1-2 months. It seems to be spreading fast. He is breathless with very little activity, and he was started on oxygen. Chris and I are also giving him airborne to help keep him from getting a cold or upper respiratory infection. He also is taking codeine cough syrup to help calm his cough down. He spends most of his time sitting in his recliner watchng old movies and taking naps. He is happy to see people who come by to visit, and he is very cheerful and still cracks his crazy jokes. He and mom have been talking alot. I think that it is great that we were warned that the time is short because we can all say goodbye and have closure. Dad want to try chemotherapy. They will give him a drug called Gemzar. It is to make him more comfortable and maybe give him extra time. If it works then he might get a few more months. I just want him to be comfortable and as happy as possible. He has lost 40 lbs and he often looks very pale. He sweats and then complains that he is cold. But I would not say that he is miserable yet. He sat at the table and talked with Tige (my cousin) awhile this morning. My nephew Jessie will be coming in tomorrow by greyhound bus. The both want to spend time with dad. In fact I hear that Tige wants to get all the boys/men and take dad out to hunting camp for a day. I think dad will like that. I think that he is still well enough and has enough energy to go. In fact I think it will be good for him. All of dad's grandchildren will be coming in the next week or so to visit with him. We are going to try to not exhaust him. Well I need to go help out around here. I will be back on this blog as things progress and change. Love to you all, Cathy

Life is full of challanges...I love my dad...

Hey there everyone, where have you been? Oh, yeah it was me that hasn't been on here lately. Sorry about that. I get so busy, then I am so painful and fatigued that it takes me awhile to get back to normal (whatever that may be). In the last two weeks I have obtained 5 rabbits. They are still very young but are large and going to be larger. They are meat and breeding rabbits. I use the rabbit dropping for my worm's that I am growing as a side business. I will have baby rabbits in the spring but until then I am keeping my boy away from the girls. It is just too cold out for babies. It has been 0.0 degrees for two days. I am having trouble keeping my house warm. Tonight I finally put blankets over the front door and living room window (which is very large). I have winter window panes up on the outside of my windows but they are still frosting up and freezing. I have to put wood on the fire every three hours or the house takes forever to get back up to 60 degrees. I wear lots of layers of clothes inside and even more when I go outside to care for the rabbits. I built a rabbit hutch by myself. Tomorrow I put the door on one side so that I can move the boy outside and into it. The 4 girls are in a big wire cage in the shed. Tomorrow I am going to put wood around it and make it similar to a wooden hutch. They seem to be surviving in the cold but I want to make it somewhat warmer for them. I am also going to put a large piece of plywood over a window opening that previous tenents had for some type of animal stall. I can take it off in the summer if I want to use it as a stall again. My plan is to build a chicken coop/yard next. I am using lumber that I salvaged from a construction site! With permission of course. I have had to piece things together since it is all used lumber. I love it. I have decided to change the name of my farm to the Triple R Farm. It stands for reuse, recycle and repair. It could probably have a retarded in there too. LOL. I have some great plans of things to come but will not share them at this time as life has taken an unexpect turn and my plans are now on hold. My dad was diagnosed Monday with lung cancer. He just went to urgent care because he was coughing and it caused him lots of pain in his chest. They did xrays expecting to find pneumonia or something similar. Instead they found cancer. It is metastsized from somewhere else but they haven't found from where yet. My dad goes to the oncologist later today. Then we should have more information. I expect they will be doing tests for awhile and then deciding on how to proceed with treatment. My family is of course having a hard time accepting this new and sudden "challange" in our lives. My dad is actually probably doing the best of us all. Does anyone know of someone who would like to house sit for me and take care of the dog, cat, rabbits and worms? As well as keep the fire going by adding wood every three hours night and day? They would get free room and board. My freezer is stocked. I have lots of DVD's but no TV. I would like to go see my dad for Christmas, and of course the rest of the family too. The main thing holding me back is money. You know, that green stuff,and of course a housesitter/petsitter. I love my dad and do not want to have him have to go through this but he is a strong man and we will keep him as happy and comfortable and busy as he can tolerate. It is time for me to get his childhood stories written down and any other memories that he wants to have saved for posterity. He is a complex person, with a multitude of experiences in his life. As I get older I see that we are all like that. He has a great sense of humor that has been passed down to children and grandchildren also. He has been a fun dad most of the time. Well since it is tomorrow already and I have just stocked the woodstove full of wood, I think I will go get three hours of sleep. You all take care. CJ